who gives a fuck about an oxford ____?

me.
(sorry, that was mad gay. although, tangentially, i find oxford commas to be extraneous punctuational clutter. anyways.)

curse my size 8!! i sought out such fine specimens as these on ebay, but to no avail (sized 6.5 and 6, respectively):

(HAWT.)

although lately, as the ideal oxford has been difficult to track down in my size, i've adopted these as my rustic maw-maw shoe of choice:
i may even buy an extra pair, as i wear the ones i have almost every day, and i don't know how much longer they can withstand the spilt beer and fancy footwork (read: painful stomping) of the drunk white folks at Lit every Wednesday. oy.

-a.

stretch marks on parade.

it's that time again.

i haven't worn a one-piece swimsuit since i was 6. mayhaps it's time for a comeback.

some options, courtesy of ebay and etsy:

YESSS. oh, wait, the bid just jumped from 11.50 to 81.00. this was going to be the one, too. :\



Ahhhh. sadly, out of my price range too.









the cheaper/authentic-er alternative (er).



nice asymmetry. and it doesn't look a day over... 498?



or perhaps even an absurdly high-waisted bikini??

...nah.

or i mean... i could just borrow one of my grandma's old suits that she wore when i was a kid.
O_O

-a.